Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
