I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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