its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
