Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Panties = found
Randomize
