Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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