My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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