Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
