You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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