What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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