I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
