Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
