I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's like iHOP with fire
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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