youre lurking in front of me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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