i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
