Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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