I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
is it fun? or sober?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
