I wannas sexs uuuuu
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
