She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
