I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
