The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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