i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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