I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
