In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
