I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
