It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
