Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
