i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
