I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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