i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
