bring money and cleavage
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
