So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
