I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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