For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
