Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
