you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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