You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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