This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
