Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
