Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
