I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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