Your tits are I can't wait for
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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