It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
