I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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