Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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