It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this just has baby written all over it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
