as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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