I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
