fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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