Have you finally orgasmed yet?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
