she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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