It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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