bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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