the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
